Archive for October 2011
Android recently released an app called, “Is my son gay?” It features twenty questions for a mother to answer about her son, focusing on the son’s reading habits, musical tastes, clothing choices, etc.
This app is absurd. Its intention might be humor, but even that falls flat. The only thing that determines whether anyone is gay is whether or not that person is primarily physically and/or romantically attracted to people of the same gender. Masculinity or femininty have nothing to do with it, nor does one’s interest in Lady Gaga’s music (which is appreciated by ALL sexual orientations).
We do understand that some parents feel that they need answers about their children’s sexual orientation, but these are answers only your children can provide, and they need to do that on their own timelines. The discovery of one’s sexual orientation is not based on one encounter, but has to be considered over time with the evaluation of feelings for people of the opposite gender versus people of the same gender.
So sadly, when it comes to tacky technology, there’s an app for that!
We have heard from men and women of all ages who are discovering their sexual orientation. And regardless of whether the caller is 17 or 77, he/she will say something like: “I feel silly figuring this out at this age. I should have realized sooner.” While the media may make it seem like everyone is coming out at 12, the reality is that people come out at all different times in their life.
While it can seem obvious once a person has discovered his/her sexuality, the road there is not always easy. Often there is not a supportive environment for someone to even explore feelings that might not be consistent with society’s “norm,” and sometimes the environment can be downright hostile and makes those feelings almost impossible to think about due to a real concern for self-preservation.
No matter what the age of discovery, it is the right time for that person. And when that time comes, give us a call, send us an email or chat with us online. We’re here for you.